Life is a pure flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us. — Sir. T. Browne
The more I get to know my generation, the more I want to distance myself from my generation. Consequently, I despise what my generation deems as sacred. Call my a grump, a Scrooge, an old man, a fundamentalist, a jerk, stuck up, or any other description or name you can think of. The truth is, it is not personal. It is no one’s fault they were born into the “look down” generation (not my term). I don’t despise people. I despise what’s happening to us. Think about it. If the NFL crashed tomorrow, Sunday afternoon may just see one or two more father’s throwing a pigskin with their son. I know it isn’t the fault of the NFL, but there is something to be said about a man… a boy who has too many toys. Anyways, to my more joyful point.
As many know, I hate Facebook and have severed myself from it for about a year and a half now. Since leaving, I set up a page for my scribe here at the fickle farce, Sam Snow. Because Sam is incompetent in everything, he rarely checks the page, refuses to update it, and simply wants to delete his account. We’ve had many heated discussions about this. I would love for him to leave, but I have always felt that my Facebook followers deserve my presence since they were some of my very first followers. Nevertheless, Sam keeps bugging me to leave as his email is inundated with useless and obnoxious Facebook trash mail. (He’s rather obnoxious himself, but, I confess, irreplaceable.) I told him you can just change the settings, but he’s too lazy…. Anways, where was I… Yes, Sam wants to leave Facebook which would mean 1 of 2 things:
1) Another one of my fearless Facebook followers would have to pick up the torch and become the official Chief Editor of the Official fickle farce Facebook Page (CEOffFP), an official title as of thirty seconds ago. This would essentially require no responsibilities, no time, no effort, and certainly no pain. Of course, you would be forced to stay on Facebook which inevitably means you would be wasting time and effort and reap the pain as well. But since you’re already on Facebook you’re experiencing that anyways. So in short, you wouldn’t have to put up with any EXTRA time, effort, or pain. Or responsibilities. You would have an official page here on the blog cite which would be written by you (or Sam) and can be anonymous. You would be paid in good Christian charity: I will buy you a drink the next time I see your lovely face. Lastly, nothing will compare with the immortal fame you will gain by being another member of this magnificent blog, the fickle farce.
The second option is a tad more depressing.
2) This option consists of multiple options within the option. The first is this: a) I discover that no one on Facebook actually reads this thing. In which case, I will delete Sam’s account and subsequently the page since it is apparently not relevant anyways. b) I discover that everyone on Facebook still reads with anticipatory vigor, yet no one takes me up on the lucrative offer of running the Facebook page. In which case, I will force Sam to keep the Facebook page open, flog him for his laziness, and tell him to deal with it. c) I get a mixed review. Some of you still enjoy the Facebook Page, others of you would be fine if I left completely. In this case, I will leave it up to Sam. In which case, it will more than likely be deleted, so long as he can figure out how to do it.
Sam wants to know: how exactly will I know if anyone is reading this? A good question. The obscurity as to who is actually reading these posts and how they are finding out about them is fascinating. I am sure there is a way to find out via my settings or some other creative way, but frankly, the fickle farce seeks to spend as little time as possible tinkering around with technology and I have a general distrust for numbers as part of my dogma. Furthermore, this is a far more enjoyable way to go about the whole business. In short, I will know by your responses. Now, there are various ways in which this may work:
1) You can either simply hit the “like” button on Facebook to let me know I am still alive on the cite. This has its positives and negatives. It is positive in that it is convenient for you. It is taking a chance in that Sam is practically useless when it comes to checking his email and Facebook. There’s a good chance he’ll forget we’re writing this and never check and then go delete the account anyway.
2) You can spread the word! By telling others about the fickle farce and having them like it on Facebook, you both insure that the Facebook page will stay up, and your friend becomes enlightened by the plethora of wisdom found in the musings on this blog. This virtually has no drawbacks unless your friends are satisfied with where they are at in life. I can easily see that people like this blog on Facebook by checking the blog page. I don’t even have to get on Facebook!
3) You can comment on this post and tell me to keep the Facebook page. This is a more personal option.
4) You can write me a letter, letting me know how you feel about it. This is an even more personal option. The account may be deleted by the time I get the letter.
Of course, the best way you can send a message in my opinion is to leave Facebook altogether and sign up for the print version (coming at a time TBD).
Sam has another question: What do we do if the account is deleted yet a few still want to follow? Well you can always follow via email which is more convenient than Facebook as is everything. You can also follow via twitter @theficklefarce. You can also pre-maturely sign up for the print version (coming at a time TBD).¹
So there we have it. After writing that whole thing, I realized a big whole in my argument. It may just be that all of my 28 Facebook followers actually read the blog but they all happen to not read this very one. In that case, I will probably write another blog stating something around the same thing as I just said only much shorter and far more wittier, though with less grammatical errors like the one I just penned. If the same result occurs, I will let Sam know he is free to leave the world of cyberspace for forever and join me in reality. Leaving Facebook has been one of the best things for me. Before graduate school, I spent so little time on the computer, I could nearly cry from the joy it produced. So now here I sit, after a day on the computer, using my free time to write more on the computer. But I do so by candle light and with a cup of hot tea by my side, and I know that some day, either on this earth or the next, I will once again be reading by the banks of the river that spawned my love for life. With pen in hand, I will heed my muse who lives in the book that was so thoroughly engaging my attention, and I will write something worth reading.
¹ As of right…. now there is a print version in the works. If you wish to sign up, I would discourage it as it is primarily the responsibility of Sam Snow who is completely incompetent and worthless, though irreplaceable. But it’s in the works, and I will let you know when it’s actually working.